What have you lost in your life?

In an absolute sense, everything......each new instant kills off the previous superthin timeslice like a chef dicing something phallic in a swanky hotel kitchen....

...and yet every moment, gone the instant it arrives, is ungraspable and so there's nothing to lose since we never 'had' it as such....

In a relative sense, I could catalogue my losses like you, O reader... my youth, my mother, my cigarette-smoking habit, my virginity, my instability and fear...

..how many of us will read this question and catalogue those losses which cause us lamentation rather than rejoicing?....is this borne of the fear of loss because of the openness and wisdom loss engenders in its post-turbulent wake?....don't we fear spontaneity more than we fear recycled neurotic patterning?

...grief is a great teacher....the depressive side of grief hems us into a pen of mourning and the intense part of grief gets us to prate our proud hoofs into the mud, churn it into something siftable....and if we do grief right, we'll get insights into the nature of our relationship with the lost object......what we idealise one moment, we demonise the next.....who we love we're also angry with for leaving us.....who was a generous soul and gave their all to us was also maybe a royal pain in the ass, a saltshaker sprinkling mini-manipulative strategies throughout the encounters....what was an ultimate toy became dead tek fit for the kind of museum you'd never visit...

...acknowledging the many strands in the braid of our relationship with the lost begets wisdom in the conventional sense....it's only when you've stabilised recognition of nonduality that loss will be accepted with equanimity and how many of us have achieved that?....

...so I'll be reading the responses to this question tonight and hoping I find a lack of stepfordised answers that involve that faux-spiritual flatness that is grief-denial in drag....cos if I read it, I'm gonna get me plastic ruler out and rap knuckles and you can hit me back if you want to and then we'll roll down the grassy bank and tussle madly as we fall into the moat and then we'll stare up at the molten sun and laugh and forget that this moment will fade to snow like a teevee station tuned to a dead channel....

A CD of groovy tunes goes to the reader who can spot the four literary quotes in this blog...I'm serious.....yeah, let's talk gain.....