The Sacredness In The Male Sexual Experience.

I love maleness in all it's glory hairy chests beards and all, but love is more than the physical and more than momentary, yes it is loving what is, not what we wish to see, it is assuming freedom and the highest good for a loved one, when we are focused not of ourselves but a loved one is when we reach heaven together, beyond our imagining., but that focus should not be exclusive, love is a capacity within that should be spread universally wide not narrowly focused. Sexuality can include or exclude love, love can walk away from sex if it is for others highest good. Love can have multi orgsmic sex like a rabbit if that is mutual or abstain for ages if that is what the loved one needs,.love never forces but enablesanothers will. 
Interested in what you see as a man's gifts to a woman.

Lemme tell ya: that is MY kinda man!

I’m sorry to be the next female in line with a comment; I really really want to hear more men’s feelings on this so I’m going to tell all the men on my friends list at least. But from the mouth of a man, this is like, ecstatic to hear! I exaggerate not. There are so many illusions floating around about what is expected of a man and I swear to God, it couldn’t be a real woman [… yeh, it’s a judgment, so shoot me!] that started it.

Why would a woman desire a man who is all fawny and softy softy etc. Then what would be the point of ‘them’ - nature - building you up with muscles and testosterone etc.? I should make the point that I’ve long considered that the survival of the species requires that we be attracted to each other’s ‘differences’, so of course I am speaking about heterosexual relations right now.

Nonetheless, let me make it very clear that I believe men who are in touch with themselves and accept that their feelings are due to them AND that their innate masculinity - the muscle and testosterone factors - are entirely significant, are some of the most loveably attractive persons on earth. Kindly spread the word, please!

A conscious check on the aggression factor is, correctly, in order tho. I have had and am aware of way too many [near] rape encounters, to feel comfortable leaving that bit out…

Much love to all of ya, babes. sherri

Jon, I personally love DD, have his books, his cassettes of lectures and bought my husband 'The Way of the Superior Man' cds as well for fathers day a couple of years back.  So I certainly agree with you and very much resonate with DDs take on sexuality and the divine feminine and masculine. 
I have never found you offensive, rather have always loved your openess, your willingness to speak your truth in whatever form it takes and see you as a man with depth and breadth beyond the norm by far.  I love how you are constantly looking at yourself and making adjustments here or there without sacrificing self.  Ive found myself looking at myself more through your comments, adjustments and checks.  Certainly I have a lot of work to do and my rebel side still comes through, but thanks in part to this community I feel this is a safe place to explore all of that.  THanks for this blog Jon..youre a beloved friend and mentor.
GIve me a DD male - sacred masculine male anytime to a new age smiley all the time dude…I prefer ones who can dive into their shadow and own them. not repress them and pretend they dont exist. 
hugs

Once upon a time, when God was a Woman, Men and Women alike adored Her, and worshipped in her Temple. Sex was a sacrament. I don't know what society was like in those days. In our deep collective human memory, it was Eden, the Garden.

For some reason, somehow, the stories tell that we got kicked out of the Garden, and Woman was to blame in most of those myths.

It is the fatal tragedy of our species that the igniting hormone testosterone, and the man's ear-splitting lion's roar, Wait, I am speaking lovingly TO men now:

Your ear-splitting Lion's Roar, your directed fire, your power and will to incarnate in Love,

has been perverted and abused into the aggression, violence, subjugation, domination, in the Self, the Family, in Commerce, among Nations.

Sexuality has been driven into a dark corner, and made to serve the broader aims of enslavement and domination. Why? because sexuality is rooted in Love, and in its expansive, creative, sacred fullness, is a reverent ecstatic dance of the Masculine and Feminine. It is the door to Wisdom, it sees clearly, it is LIBERATION.

You can't control or enslave people who are Liberated at their core, neither men or women.

That is why open juicy exuberance such as Satya's Juice Bar is vital, necessary, ER triage for a planet gone mad with imbalance. The Juice Bar is about saving the world, people!!!

Here, Jon, is bringing us the wisdom of his own journey and healing, what he has learned and what he teaches. He has lit a fire, and the men are coming to speak together, reflect, question, joke, and whatever it is that men do ????

and I stand with the women, honoring, appreciating, adoring, welcoming, and in a moment more, silent, for a while, listening.  I'm weeping with joy.

I'm gonna go call some men over. Be right back.



 

i like a man to want to ravish me. It is very exciting. I can see the part about the keeping it in check to a certain point. I had never really thought much about the fine line between sexual desire and aggression for a man. I appreciate you bringing that up. nothing better than being desired. well there might be, but i like it a lot.

I know I reek of testosterone but I'm a gentleman about it. I don't  push  myself on anyone, I read cues well, but I also accept that sexuality has been a huge part of my existence, from almost infancy to hopefully almost the time of my demise. I'm pretty open and honest about it. I think we make too much of a big deal out of it here in America. Other countries and cultures have a better sense of their sexuality. It's almost as though a lot of people here are embarrassed about their sexuality. One day I ran into a man I knew and asked him about his daughter….and he got nervous and fumbly and almost apologetic when he told me that his daughter has a female partner. I asked him if she's healthy…is she happy etc…and when he nodded yes, I said…good god, you should be glad about those things. Sex shouldn't play a huge role in our lives…love should be the operative. Anyway…we're basically animals trying to live our lives within the confines of a shitload of man made rules. I've said a gazillion times…break the rules gently…with a compassionate heart. It's really Ok to be horny. Which reminds me of a story. When I was a teenage a group of guys from my side of town were going to meet a group of guys from the othe side of town for a big fight. When they told me it was going to be on Friday night….I said, I'm sorry, but I'm going out with my girlfriend. And one of the guys said…jesus maze, you're fucking pussy whipped. And I replied…yeah, but that kind of whipping doesn't hurt.

Jon,

d“accord!

Its a color in the broad spectrum of masculine-femine dynamics which is often not freely expressed. And I know for sure from many womwn  its appreciated. Even when not openly so much.

DD is emboding this teaching, its essence is needed as much in all areas of poltics, business culture and commmunity. No new women liberation without this quality:

“He doesn't need to be right all the time, nor does he need always to be safe, co-operative and sharing like an androgynous Mr. Nice Guy. He simply lives from his deepest core, fearlessly giving his gifts, feeling through the fleeting moment into the openness of  existence, totally committed to magnifying love.”

Thx Jon,

Albert

Thank you Jon and Carla! This is absolutely resonated for me as well.  It put so clearly, concisely, and succintly what I feel. What Albert writes about and I want to say is this writing below is integral to all areas of my life work, friendship, etc. and the world.

 There are so many ways to make love and I don't want to box them in one way or another with descriptions. The open nakedness of being makes love to the world the way s\he will perfectly for that moment. Being in touch with that formless orgasmic core is the key and allowing it to manifet, the joy!!!

 The flourishing, creative and orgasmic expression of the divine could be a lions roar or the melting gaze into the eyes of a lover. In my experience, I get less concerned about content of expression than being the vehicle for the expression of this love in the world in all areas spontaneouly from the heart.

This kind of man is totally turned on by the feminine. He loves to take his woman sexually and ravish her, not in some old-style macho fashion. Rather he wants to ravish her with so much love she is vanished, they both vanish, in the fulness of loving itself. He is dedicated to incarnating love on this earth, through his work and his sexuality, and he does so as a free man, bound neither by outer convention nor inner cowardice.

Thank you for sharing this openly. It is about time!!!!
Deep Bow!
Ben

“He is dedicated to incarnating love on this earth, through his work and his sexuality, and he does so as a free man, bound neither by outer convention nor inner cowardice.”

Yes, Maze - it takes a certain amount of breaking the rules, breaking from convention and acknowledging those places that have been pushed own so that they may rise and swirl around with the other more prominant parts.  Let me make love and weep at the same time, washing my beloved with cleansing joy.

Disappearing within the one you are loving - ah, that is tantra.  Beautiful.

Carla pointed me here - glad she did.  I started to comment an hour ago and it has grown way too long … I may shorten it or make it a posting of its own - not sure yet. 

But a few comments nonetheless -

John - “Let me make love and weep at the same time, washing my beloved with cleansing joy.”  That is frikin' beautiful.  I'm skritching it into my memory as I write.  I will so not forget that.  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

Carla - “[Sexuality] is the door to Wisdom, it sees clearly, it is LIBERATION.”  Tantric wisdom on the triune nature of sexuality.  It is exactly right and exactly the apotheoses of the perverted abuses you write of.  Hooray!

Tom - I gently say that the scent of testosterone is not a reek nor a sentence, although I too once thought it was.  As Carla points out, that which is good and natural has been subverted.  We are free, liberated, to choose it to be otherwise. 

Jon - You are right.  A man must not fear his own lion's roar, just as he must also not fear giving it up at times.  The greatest strength I have, and it is very powerful, is to be able to live in the strength of that roar, or to let it slip away, as I choose, as I love.

This is an amazing thread.  I have more to say.  Later.

Albert

p.s. For those of you who are so inclined, Tim Ward's book, The Savage Breast: One Man's Search for the Goddess, is the story of his own journey from acculturated mysogyny that wasn't evident to him – he was a self-defined 'pro-feminist man'. His story tells how he dove into the fearless exploration and came out the other side, with a new respect and awareness of a Whole Feminine (thus allowing him to see women wholly, rather than as a Parsifalian non-human dream) and also revealing his own Sacred Masculinity, or Whole Masculine.

It's a great story, and a courageous one.

I want to comment here but feel that the most important thing I can do as a woman right now is to help be the container for the masculine energy I feel so strongly in this thread. I am so hungry to hear your voices on this subject. And so I offer the energetic space of my Womb for the sparking of your Divine Masculine Selves.
Please continue.

very exciting and inviting for a woman of passion, secure in herself.

HooWee! 

I'm gonna do my very best not to write write write way too much and just blurb a wee tad on this golden thread.

Lemme start with the mundane.  Testosterone is the 'male' hormone.  Yeah, no dispute there, but that's not the complete story.  A few years ago there was an excellent series on NPR (National Public Radio for my non-US friends.  Kind of like BBC Radio 3 & 4 rolled into one) where they investigated the connection between hormone levels (they looked at estrogen too) and libido, aggression, passivity, and sexual orientation.  The surprising result regarding the first three, at least for me, was that beyond a certain minor threshold level there was no correlation between hormone levels and the presentation of those behavior traits and that regarding sexual orientation there was no threshold at all, there was simply zero correlation.  Well, I thought it was interesting, and it flies in the face of current legend.

For me personally the matter of sexuality is complex and simple all in the same breath.  I am the father of two beautiful daughters.  They are both currently partnered with males but if they were to choose female partners in the future, and they very well could, I'd be absolutely fine with it.  I can't understand, literally can't, the embarrassment of maze's friend.  Some of you know that over the course of time I have been married to two amazing women and have had profound, intense, and intimate relationships with several other amazing women and with several equally amazing men.  There, I said it for those of you who didn't know.  But … I'm not gay, I'm not straight, and I'm not bisexual.  Confused?  Not me, although I admit that having an adolescent crush on my math teacher's wife and on him simultaneously made me wonder about myself.  I appear a standard issue male; the voice, upper body strength, the visual-spatial thing, the innate understanding of football (both kinds) - archetypal male through and through.  But it ends there - it's a mask, a costume, and nothing more.  That's a good thing and more about it another time.  But ever since I can remember I've been able to scamper offstage and switch costumes in a heartbeat.  I've gone through a whole wardrobe.  Most of the time this involves a conscious effort but sometimes I surprise myself and it just happens.  To make the water a little less muddy, I'll tell you that I generally find the company of women more rewarding on most levels, and I'm talking about more than bedmates here, or sometimes in addition to that.  My attraction to women is through the mystery of their differences from me, while my attraction to men is through the mystery of their other differences, more contextual than situational, and there is a distinction here.  Well, now that the water is so much clearer ….

What perspective does this background lend?  I believe that it makes things more clear, not less, having pitched my tent in all the various camps each for at least a little while.  Much of this discussion is in the context of the tantric.  Sex, and therefore sexuality, is a triune characteristic of humans and decidedly for procreation, pleasure, and liberation.  We do the procreation part too well, the pleasure part we unaccountably hide, and the liberation third - well, we're somewhere near zero as a global culture.  Additionally, owing to our primate/mammalian underpinnings sex includes elements of territoriality and aggression.  It simply does and it applies to both males and females, and it is okay.  What is different for humans is that we get to choose how we act.  The males in Brin's (I think) Glory Season had aggression and territoriality genetically engineered out of them, but they could decide to get angry and make war.  We have not been engineered, but we can decide to not escalate innate aggression into violence, subjugation, and war.  I believe human relationships, sexual or otherwise, cannot be separated from their background contexts and held up for independent analysis.  Okay, sorry, I'm reading way too much David Chalmers.  R(r)elationship(s) and sexuality cannot be thought of as separate, in any way, from anything else that makes up a human; be it physical, spiritual, psychological, intellectual, cultural, or chemical.

Here's what I have to say about love, how I take every breath.  Beyond that, staring into the eyes of a lover with your desire made clear or even manifest is one of the most tantric, erotic, spiritual, and energizing experiences of life, my life, your life, anyone's.  And so is being able to openly and without fear receive that same stare.  That capacity for reciprocity, I believe, must extend through all aspects of sexual experience.  If you can't conceive of freely accepting something, how can you conceive of offering it?  And really folks, the mechanics of it or consideration of yin and yang co-elements, if that's what you're wondering about, don't matter even a tiny little bit.

Sorry.  Much more to say but already way too big for a comment.  Maybe a later blog.

Hey Jon, was that less Dyonesian enough? ….  ;-)

Albert, nice to have another male perspective, I liked your acceptance of both yourself and others as you are, what is,  without manipulation,without judgement,  the diversity, and allowing for change too, we all grow and change, we are all different. Jamie I liked your perspective too, men are different and equally lovable. When I say i love maleness I mean the whole range from the hairy testosterone laden to the more feminine side,  women span a wide range too, we are all a mix of both male and female aspects. and some souls sit between the two , no omne any better than the other, just diverse which makes a terrriffic world.

Just a quick comment here to acknowledge my support to this honest discussion. I just left a high five on Albert's ( kcidybom) vine 'cause I swear he could be writing my bio. Jon many blessing for opening this dialog that will go far in separating the wheat from the chaff.

To all you lovely ladies out there thank you for the womb power. We couldn't be here without you.

Satya-Seer your strong juice has opened many doors. My respect for you has overflowed and the juice is running cool and sweet across the universe.

I will be back to re-frame my thoughts in a more cohesive manner when I find a little free time.

Janet and Carla, thank you so much for helping me open hidden doors.

namaste'  ~ lars

Although I am a male I am not here to give a male perspective on this subject.  : )
I am gay and relate with the women.  another : )
This has been a highly energized weekend and early Monday morning for me as I have entered a new phase in life.
I would like to share this video as a different or not so different perspective.
So to speak, this is what I want my man to be.
regards to everyone,
Samme   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52iYg1vTkGE

Jon, I can't resist making a few comments:

“the eff word” - brother, just say FUCK!  And if you can't teach your children at the earliest age possible to say FUCK!, which is one of the most all-encompassing vajra diamond words in the English language, then you might as well get into sheep ranching. 

Great quote from Deida.  But let me tell it to you straight:  Your writing is way more potent, especially when you don't start “eff”-eminating it.  Deida's stuff is great, especially for guys who have internalized the male-bashing so prevalent in our culture.  Male-bashing makes for a  culture of followers, a culture of pussy-footing around the crap that's going on in our world, a culture of not offending anybody, a culture that thinks that saying “FUCK” is crude but it's polite to not talk about how we're getting sold down the river by assholes like Obama, Gordon, Bush, and all the other officials of Slave Traders International, Inc.

And as an old medicine man once told me, “If you're thinking of getting serious about a woman, go meet her mother, because she'll come out a lot like her mother.” And then I asked him “What about a woman who wants to find out about a man she like.”

“Go meet his mother.  Same thing!  Human beings are shaped by their mothers.  Their bodies are shaped with the mother's attitude toward life way before they have any sense of being male or female.”

And that reflects my experience here in the U.S. and much of the Anglo world:  a culture where both the female and the male are asexualized.  Women tell me all the time that they wish that their man would talk to them the way that I talk to them.  My simply question to them:  How do you talk to your man?

More later… 

Back again:  Now before you object and tell me that you are NOT like your mother or the women you grew up with, let me tell you that I am not talking about your belief system, your values.  “Temperament” is heading in the right direction but, I perceive it more like a body thing.  How the body moves in the world - because before we gain muscular possession of our own bodies, our bodies are moved mostly by the feminine and the rhythmicity of our stance and response to the world is syncopated into the anatomy and neurology of our responsiveness.  Later our musculature begins to express that neurology AND the greater or lesser capacity to tap into our anatomical hearts as organs of knowing, which is precisely what they are - yet we have very little access to this knowing in Western culture and any culture that domesticates children rather than supporting their natural process of discovery and creation.   A child is CONNECTIVE by nature and the military-medical-pharmaco-industrial educational uses force to confine children into a very narrow bandwidth of connective intelligence. 

Spending years with a beautiful woman from Venezuela raised by three generations of women and plenty of wild, loving, outrageous men has taught me much about how human families can flourish without the need for the imposition of “rules” and always “correcting behavior”  which was so prevalent in my upbringing and which is quite acute in the U.S.  Although, as of late, it seems that many children in the U.S. grew up in a hyper-permissive indifference.  If we don't like how our kids act, rather than weaving them into the fabric of feelings, we just upgrade their video toys so that their presence can be “on hold.” 

What does this have to do with the sacredness of male sexuality?  Everything.  Because male and female sexuality start at conception, when we are woven into the sensuality of the world through riding a literal ocean of rhythmic, emotive, biological waves in our mothers'  wombs.  The sensual rhythmicity of our mothers, or lack thereof, binds us into a deep-seated, embryonic response to the world that our very organismic structures then express developmentally already prior to birth.  Neurological embryology now reveals that if our mothers are stressed, embryonic development favors the development of the reptilian brain and brainstem, thus favoring individuals best-equipped for fight and flight, warfare and strife.  If our mothers are at ease and assured of a harmonious future, embryonic development favors the development of the pre-frontal cortex and beings best equipped for the creative potential that harmonious cultures and conditions offer us. 

How women choose to undergo their pregnancies has profound,primordial impact upon the very nature of the being who will emerge from their wombs.

After many years of seeking to understand the U.S., it seems to me that the watershed moment in U.S. history which shapes the foundations of our present-day culture is the Great Depression.  Here we see the rupture of the connective, agricultural communities woven of wombs within wombs of sustenance, with the man as consummate master of “husbandry.”  The very word connotes attendance to the female cycles of fertility. 

With the severance from the land and from ethnic, linguistic communities, the fabric of agricultural life, of a cultural of husbandry, we find the immigrant communities of profoundly related and complementary individualities shattered through the dispossession of their lands wrought more by the Federal Reserve Bank and the Department of Agriculture (as well as the railroad owners who failed to bring the crops to market in 1929, the year of the biggest harvest in U.S. history) who coaxed the American farmer to try his hand at petro-chemical agriculture, mortgaging the lands which they, until then, owned largely free and clear. 

The human becomes commodified as a “unit of production,”  selling his/her life piecemeal by the hour, the month, etc., as opposed to making a living out of that which lives.  And community and ancestral transmission are torn asunder.  Speaking the Queen's English, in Britain, or American English in the States becomes the order of the day, and washing oneself clean of any remnants of ancestry, whether in tongue, dress, or gest, which would signal one as somewhat green to the ways of the city.  The human seeks to homogenize and commodify himself. 

Meanwhile, wives, children and elder relatives have been left with those relatives who DID manage to hold on to their lands, and intimacy now becomes strain, the women expectant of their husband's return and the husband ashamed that his proud manhood has not necessarily equipped him to best compete in a crowd of commodified humans without community.  Now, rather than a rich tapestry of mutually-enriching individuals, where even the village fool serves the community in comic release, the order of the day is to become proficient at following rules

The numbers tell it quite graphically:
1929: 80% of the U.S. population is rural
1935: 75% of the U.S. population is urban

Six years! 

And how this disruption in human community, in the dimensions of wombs within wombs and men as the delighters, the minstrels, the tenders-to, the husbands of wombs within wombs, is something that I think that many people don't quite grasp.  Not that we simply look to the past, but that we consider the rhythmicities that we inhabit and that we rock our children into this world through. 

Joseph Chilton Pearce, in his book “The Death of Religion and the Rebirth of Spirit,”  has spoken to this quite eloquently: the primordial importance of a mother's experience during pregnancy, the tone of childbirth, and the absolute importance of those first 5 years of childhood and whether that child is raised in the presence of beings who have a heart-to-heart primordial commitment to the presence of this being, or others,  however well-intentioned, skilled, etc., who will relate to this blossoming curiosity in a relationship constrained and defined by regulatory agencies and the diagnostic compulsions that regiment increasing amounts of our lives together and capacity to transmit to each other.

Reading David Deida is great, but the culture arises out of the womb.  And to think that passing maternity laws, for example, is the solution, is to further acquiesce to external reglementation by the legalistic priesthood of our lives. 

We can rediscover and re-enliven the eroticism of our economies.  Oekonomia in Greek elegantly designates “the administration of our households,”  which is the womb that we inhabit after emerging from that of our mothers.   We can create ways to increasingly sustain ourselves through activities that are connective, that can provide the wombn and the children we seek to invite richly into our lives the necessary years to support the development of human beings endowed with the fully expressed potential of our neural and heart anatomies, along with the rest.  That economy has somehow becomes “the dismal science” is only too apropos and tells us much of a culture raised on TV dinners in front of the TV, hardly knowing any more what it means “to sit at table together”  to converse, debate, share, ridicule, mock, celebrate, dance, wrestle, love, create, etc. 

Kind Regards, O

Little Big O~is that O for orgasm? ;) This does feel like the right time and place to finally ask what I've wondered before. And the question allows me to hop in for a moment.

LBO~It was a sister, not a brother, who respectfully expressed her preference about “eff word”. But I think you meant the message for your brothers anyway, to whom I bow and step aside after responding here.

That was a potent rant wrought with risks you took in your missive and I'm glad you got it out. One thing that stays with me is the relief I feel when I read your words about Obama who went running to APAC flexing military muscle and pro-Zionist support in his first speech as Dem. candidate, but alas, this is a discussion for another time and place. Thanks for making overt that which I have only kept in close company. I just wonder if the larger message may get censored due to its “explicit” language and potential to offend. I hope not, but maybe that warning sign needs to go up, eh.

I am itching to tell you all something about my history here. I have been here since the good old early Zaadz days and attempted several times to get the sensual juices flowing and dialog going about sexuality, sexual healing, beyond monogamy and heterosexism. There were a few pods way back when where we took risks in speaking our radical truths. They lost their fire and dissipated over time, mostly due to the stinging, disturbing silences that ensued and I felt too alone and too vulnerable to even use the word sexuality! There was a general sense of sexual repression and suppression I experienced at Zaadz, so I stopped pushing the envelop. And rather than leave (which was tempting at times), I've hung in there to witness the evolution as new folks arrived and we now stir the juices up together. The change process from Zaadz to now Gaia (ZNG) got the juices flowing too and  now there are so many more of us that the seeds of diversity of voices, cultures, orientations, and energies has blossomed into a tropical forest of juicy  plants, flowers and trees. And stirring it up we are, the juices of life, of spirit, of flesh, and it is so healthy, and there is no turning back now.

Thanks to Samme and Carla for coming out, for you Dads who support your kids regardless of their sexual orientation, (may that include gender orientation as well). Deep bows to all here for pushing up against and through the walls of limitations… It is indeed through our creative, artistic and sensual expressions that we can still save the planet.

May our eros flow and bring balance to a world in desperate need of it.
May you drink deep and may your thirst be quenched

mary

Ravish me with thy lips, thy hands, thy aura
Until the built up layers begin to peel
One by one burning quietly away
From the dynamic spark of our fusion.

Pummel my very soul
With thy sacred masculine essence
Ripening me for more love
Than my heart has ever known.

My protective shell cracks
Then splits,  and falls away
Defenses no longer needed
Left only with the joining of our core.

Nothing could have prepared me
For the sight of God that I have seen
When I gaze into your eyes.
Come, open me once more….