Help
Sign In
appreciation
November 2009 
What do you love?
Posted on Feb 14th, 2008
by 
Shameslaya
Shameslaya
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 14, 2008:
I love...as consistently as possible.... that which arises ...which may be Franzine my car or Lewis my son, or Wiggly his mouse, or you if you send me a missive or skype me.....when you or he or whomsoever are not arising within me then my love subsides and shines elsewhere...I don't rightly know what happens when you are no longer in my field of awareness...a therapist might say my love remains latent in my preconscious or a neuroscientist may say it gets encoded in my hypothalamus or whatever....but these are just stories...I just don't know what happens when one minute I love you and the next you are gone and so am I....
This doesn't make me a psychopath, borderline or schizoid...it makes me a realist to my own perception....as I increasingly identify with myself as the Witness, and hence the space in which things happen.... rather than the dramas which enact within that space, and the identity-narratives which scroll up regularly like pop-up ads...as I do this, then I find myself evolving into a more equanamous, forgiving and compassionate individual....space cannot be harmed; I am not under threat and can relax....and the nature of this space is radiant clarity which connects somehow with all which arises as a beam of light inexplicably connects with that with which it illuminates...
I don't love my son just because I cuddle him and buy him Marvel comix....I love him because when he is scared, I hold and soothe...when he is sad, I stay with him and let him grieve as he had to when I let my last relationship go...we both had to...when he is angry, i take the full blast of his anger and accept it even as it may scare me...so he feels safe with his anger as I do, so he will not internalise it...and when he is happy we sproing around like cosmic warlords....loving somebody is bloody hard work after the honeymoon and involves accepting the other, messy vomiting emotion and all...and not disavowing, not manipulating not twisting the other into one's narcissistically-stepfordised dream partner...this acceptance is made more and more possible by self-grounding, engram-clearing, self-transcending work...and you Gaian guys don't need me to pontificate on that stuff....
And you will read this rather disjointed mess of a blog..or not...and stay with it..or not...and if you post a comment and trigger yourself arising within me, I will still love you in this way ...even if you don't gimme five hit points or whatever...cos that's how the pieces move on the board...
PS I like pink hearts and chocolates and kissy-kissy as well....enjoy the candlelit meal with the holding hands (which means you just gotta hold the fork so I suggest paella will serve you better than steak) and the violins and the nice wine and the endearment thing....I envy you...but fortunately, envy is one of many things arising within me...blah blah.....Jon xx
This doesn't make me a psychopath, borderline or schizoid...it makes me a realist to my own perception....as I increasingly identify with myself as the Witness, and hence the space in which things happen.... rather than the dramas which enact within that space, and the identity-narratives which scroll up regularly like pop-up ads...as I do this, then I find myself evolving into a more equanamous, forgiving and compassionate individual....space cannot be harmed; I am not under threat and can relax....and the nature of this space is radiant clarity which connects somehow with all which arises as a beam of light inexplicably connects with that with which it illuminates...
I don't love my son just because I cuddle him and buy him Marvel comix....I love him because when he is scared, I hold and soothe...when he is sad, I stay with him and let him grieve as he had to when I let my last relationship go...we both had to...when he is angry, i take the full blast of his anger and accept it even as it may scare me...so he feels safe with his anger as I do, so he will not internalise it...and when he is happy we sproing around like cosmic warlords....loving somebody is bloody hard work after the honeymoon and involves accepting the other, messy vomiting emotion and all...and not disavowing, not manipulating not twisting the other into one's narcissistically-stepfordised dream partner...this acceptance is made more and more possible by self-grounding, engram-clearing, self-transcending work...and you Gaian guys don't need me to pontificate on that stuff....
And you will read this rather disjointed mess of a blog..or not...and stay with it..or not...and if you post a comment and trigger yourself arising within me, I will still love you in this way ...even if you don't gimme five hit points or whatever...cos that's how the pieces move on the board...
PS I like pink hearts and chocolates and kissy-kissy as well....enjoy the candlelit meal with the holding hands (which means you just gotta hold the fork so I suggest paella will serve you better than steak) and the violins and the nice wine and the endearment thing....I envy you...but fortunately, envy is one of many things arising within me...blah blah.....Jon xx
Access: Public
Love you right back and love the moments of connecting when you write something and my attention is filled with you while I read it.
Sushi is the best meal for handholding.
Well, or strawberries but those aren't in season where I am.
I think “identity-narratives which scroll up regularly like pop-up ads” is one of the best descriptions ever.
i'm sorry about Lewis' pain (and yours) over the loss… i understand your need for time to recover - hope you both have a wonderful valentine's day with lots of hugs and love
Arising is biglove for You in ALL this
THE <3 big fuZzy pink heart <3
fLuff FLuff
of not-knowing IS * .
* ;en- *. :
. :*: . JoY- *. .
*: .* .: .* :.fully *
ALL we shall ever know, YIPP-IE-IE
we's free, me's in you & you's in me !
that Space we BE now bowing in ONELOVE gratitude munching raw organic cacao nibs (the <3-shaped ones…by candlelite)
x-v.
Thank you for sharing from the heart jon, also you have a lovely way with words jon as well as 'identity-narratives which scroll up regularly like pop-up ads' and '..not manipulating not twisting the other into one's narcissistically-stepfordised dream partner…'brillinat and true. as I wrote in shells comments:
very deep stuff here shell thank you… i was married 20 years until 2003 and i know that it, relationship is one of the hardest spiritual paths to walk, especially when kids are involved too. the shit hits the fan, shadow stuff, co-dependency all that… relationship Kosmic Grooves: three legged stall, wounded bird + caretaker, babes in the wood (sounds v. Lady Chatterley but its not)…
I love the Course in Miracles Lesson:
In defencelessness my safety lies
Lesson 153 I think, yes
http://courseinmiracles.com/workbook_lessons/part_1/lesson153.htm
joty
xx
btw I don't participate in the 'seeds' too consumerist… for me lol
Hi jon, happy v. I wanted to enter your field of awareness here and hang for awhile.love, jen
Hugs! for you and Lewis… and Wiggly… and I love when you shine some of your attention my way…thanks for being my friend!
Love to you my dear friend…hugs and kisses too
Some chocolate in the raw…
A representation of wiggly…made from a chocolate kiss
And some lip lollipops…just for you!
love you dear one!
Oboy oboy thank you for taking some of yer Valentines Day day out to write such splendificorous stuff…after my illness comes busyness so have not had a chance to respond to your own postings but will do so in due course….love and blessings and pink icing kittens, Jon xx
Pink Icing Kittens are nice
But never forget Mickey Mosetreya! ;P
As usual your posting made a good reading………but the word you have used ' splendificorous '…….i don't know what you mean by that !!!….have heard of ' splendiferous '…..i await your reply…..love
Yeah..uh…sorry mouse…
splendificorous…I am such a massacrist of the english lingo jagadish friend x
Brilliant. You found your original voice and now you can just let 'er rip…
Loving you through the scrolling …. roll on the ad free versions! x L
And now for a word from our local sponsors….
Buy new Clearlight Daz…powder to whiten out the stubbonnest of stains…we garauntee you can shift the face of Christ off the turin shroud…
Nice blog Jon. You're good, you. :)
now now! Jon.. After all Jesus stains are okay; it is his followers stains that really need removed!
Hmmm…all yellow snow is yellow snow as they say…..somewhere….
I love that your son has you.
Just finally getting around to reading some friends' blogs.
The Witness, are you? My ex-hubby self identified thus. Drove me nuts. I think it was his lofty explanation for lounging on the sofa while I was doing the dishes. So now he has his very own full sink to witness.
Ha! Karen…he sank into yr arms now his arms are into yr sink